Oh, Rose Where Could You Be
by jensan1332
Summary: About Rose going missing in Frostbite thru the rescue plus Dimitri's love confession at the end of the book (Dimitri POV)
1. Missing

**Disclaimer: All Characters are intellectual property of Rachel Mead and her series Vampire Academy. Reviews are greatly appreciated. I like to hear if people think it's good, bad, or if there are things I can do better.  
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**Missing**

I was standing in my bedroom staring out the window as I looked over the horizon. Rose was missing now for two days and I was worried sick. I couldn't stop thinking about her and where she might be. If anything was to happen to Rose, I don't know what I would do. If only I had some clue to where she had gone but there was nothing and I couldn't help feeling that time was running out to find her and the others.

When I found out Rose was gone, I was on my way to find Tasha to tell her my decision about being her Guardian. Janine Hathaway ran up to me in the hall, and said that the guard at the North Gate said Rose and Lissa's boyfriend, Christian, had left the resort. I instantly started to panic. Why would she do that especially with Christian? Janine and I instantly went to tell the other Guardians. Alberta decided to do a head count of the other novices and Moroi there to see if anyone else was missing. That's when we discovered that Eddie, Mia, and the boy Rose was sort of dating, Mason, were gone. This only created more alarm in me. What happened that made them leave?

After the headcount, Janine and I talked to Lissa to see if she knew where they went. Lissa told us she didn't even know they had left and had no clue where they could be. I instantly knew something was wrong. Rose would never leave without telling Lissa where she was going. She also wouldn't have left Lissa here if she thought she was going to be gone that long. Fear started to course thru my veins.

Immediately me and some other Guardians went to search for them. They had only been a gone a few hours so hopefully we would catch them walking down the road or close by or at least I was hoping that would be the case. We drove around and around not finding anything and finally got to the nearest town. We split up and asked any local we saw if they seen them and all we kept getting was no. Finally we went to the bus station asking around there but still got the same answer, nobody had seen them. It was about to get dark so Alberta ordered all the Guardians back to the resort, not wanting to leave the Moroi at the resort unprotected at night. But I didn't want to stop searching not until I had found Rose. I knew the more time that passed the less likely the chances were of finding them.

I tried to convince Alberta to let me and Janine continue looking but she said we were needed back at the resort. Plus we didn't have any information of where they went or why they had gone. She said that she was going to alert spy's that we have living in the human world to keep a look out for them and report back if they heard anything. With that, I reluctantly gave in and went back to the resort. I was afraid if I threw too much of a fuss over the search being stopped, they would see my true feelings for Rose.

When we got back to the resort, I stayed with Tasha for a little while trying to console her over her worry for Christian, the only family she had left. Plus it helped keep my mind off the anxiety I was feeling for Rose. The time seemed to crawl by and still no word from any of the spies about their location. The more time that passed the more I knew they had to be in trouble which gave me a sense of helplessness, since I had no clue where they were at. After a few hours, I told Tasha I was going to go to my room for a bit of rest. I needed some time by myself where I didn't have to hide my feelings about Rose.

Still staring out the window, I kept picturing the last time I saw Rose, looking so beautiful in that dress she was wearing at the dance. It bothered me that Rose hadn't come to me for help. Yeah we had been fighting the last few weeks mainly because of jealously but she should still know that I would do anything for her. I was having a hard time staying positive. No matter how hard I tried not to think about something bad happening to Rose, I couldn't stop myself. I wished that I had told her my feelings that night on the balcony

At the dance, Janine had embarrassed Rose when she saw Rose talking to Adrian making Janine drag Rose out by her arm. I decided to check on Rose knowing she would be upset even though I knew that it really wasn't a good idea for me to be alone with her especially in that dress. I found here out on the balcony sitting alone. She told me what happened between her and her mom then out of the blue, she said I should take the deal with Tasha. I was shocked and hurt at first thinking she didn't want me around and wanted me to go away. But with sadness weighing on her voice she told me, she just wanted me to be happy filling me with the same sadness she felt. I knew exactly how she was feeling because I felt the same way when I thought about Rose being with somebody else, a constant ache in my heart.

Every time I thought about my feelings for Rose it made me sad, sad that I could never be with Rose and she could never be mine. I had wanted to tell her how I felt. That I could never be happy without her because the one thing I wanted more than anything I could never have but I knew that would have made our situation worse. So I just said "Roza" and held her trying to make her pain go away but I knew it wouldn't.

I was still staring out the window when I whispered to myself, "Oh Rose, Where can you be?" With that I turned around making my way to my bed. I had to find something to take my mind off of Rose and the dread I was feeling. Lying down on my bed, I picked up the western novel I was reading. I had only read a few pages when an urgent knock came at my door. I quickly sat up, my heart started to race. Maybe it was information on Rose; I got up quickly making my way to the door.

I opened the door and was surprised to see Adrian. Adrian and I really didn't like each other. Adrian was trying his hardest to get with Rose, which infuriated me and somehow he knew it. He also had figured out my feelings for Rose which made me worry that he might turn me in. But so far he had kept his mouth shut. I didn't want Rose to be with him for numerous reasons the main one being his reputation. I knew Adrian's reputation when it came to woman. He was a womanizer and I didn't want Rose to be hurt by him.

"Adrian," I said, "This is a surprise."

"Yeah, yeah," He said, "I'm here because I have talked to Rose." I soon as he said it relief flooded my body, _Rose is Alive. _Joy swept thru me even though I couldn't help but feel some jealousy towards Adrian over Rose calling him instead of me. But I let it go, just being grateful that we finally had some information about Rose and the others.

"When did you talk to her? Are they alright, has anything happened to them." I said my excitement showing, over finally getting some news.

"I talked to her not long ago in her dream." I looked at Adrian with a puzzled look on my face and started to wonder if he just came here to mess with my emotions.

"Dream, what on Earth are you talking about?" I said skeptically

"Well, I'm a spirit user like Lissa and that's what my gift is the ability to enter people's dreams." Adrian said, "I'd been trying to get in her dreams ever since we found out she was missing but she has been keeping her self-awake for some reason." Hearing this made my anxiety increase.

"Well what did you see? What did she tell you?" I asked

"All she was able to tell me was something about Eddie and Christian needing help and that they were being held prisoner in the basement of a house in a cul-de-sac." Adrian said worry showing on his face. "Also I think they might be in a different city because she said "_We are in the city of…." _When we got cutoff." Hearing this caused panic to surge thru me. _Oh no we had to find them and fast. _

"Did she say who had them?" I said frantically not able to keep the panic out of my voice.

"No, I told you everything she said." Adrian said.

I started to pace back and forth in my room trying to think of anywhere they could be. Then it hit me, a conversation I had with Rose when I told her about the Strigoi in Spokane at a house in a cul-de-sac. Instantly I was gripped by terror so strong it felt like I was going to pass out. All I could think about was Rose in the hands of a Strigoi.

I turned toward Adrian and said, "I think I know where they went." And with that Adrian and I went straight to Janine and Alberta to get a team together to go rescue them.


	2. The Rescue

The Rescue

We were on the plane heading to Spokane to rescue Rose and the others from the Strigoi. Even though the plane ride was only an hour, time seemed to crawl by. Adrian hadn't been able to contact Rose again in her dreams so we didn't have any new information on their situation. The uncertainty of the situation weighed on my mind.

I was the one who told Rose about the Strigoi's in Spokane. Rose and I were fighting about Tasha because Rose had found out about her offer for me to become Tasha's Guardian and much more. She was jealous and hurt by it, thinking I had already accepted Tasha's offer. I wasn't sure who told Rose but I didn't feel comfortable talking about my relationship with Tasha to Rose. So I brought up the Strigoi trying to change the subject and stop our fighting. I was majorly regretting that decision right about now. If anything happened to Rose, I would never forgive myself. The one person who understood me, the one person I came to love, would be dead because of me.

I shook my head shaking the thought of Rose dying, not wanting to accept it was an option. Alberta scolded me when I told her that I had told Rose about the Strigoi. But she tossed it aside for the moment, wanting to get to Spokane as fast as possible. We were about to land at the Spokane Airport where black suburban's waited to take us to the Strigoi house.

We were finally on our way, the house just a few minutes away. The only thing on my mind was _Please let Rose be alright. _Arriving at the cul-de-sac, we turned the corner. Three people were outside the house standing in the street. As we got closer I could tell it was Eddie, Christian, and Mia standing in the road. _Oh no, Where's Rose. _My heart began to race as terror gripped me. I jumped out of the vehicle running to where they were. Christian and Mia didn't seem to be physically hurt in any way but Eddie had hurt his leg and was leaning on Christian for support.

"Where are Rose and Mason?" I asked trying not to let panic show in my voice. Mia looked at me, her face soaked from tears.

"She's still inside with Mason." Mia said struggling to get the words out of her mouth. "Mason was killed and Rose refused to leave him. Rose killed the two Strigoi that were here but more could be returning at any moment."

I didn't wait to hear another word. I was off heading towards the house with the other Guardians right on my heels. As I entered the house, I was stunned by what I saw. There was blood everywhere, on the floor, on the walls. Two Strigoi lay dead on the floor both of them missing their heads. I turned my gaze to Rose in the middle of the floor. She was holding Mason in her lap, gripping a sword in one of her hands. Her head was down on Mason's chest as she rocked back and forth. Seeing Rose in so much pain devastated me. All I wanted to do was run to her, wrap her in my arms, tell her everything would be fine taking away her pain. As I started walking towards her, Rose jerked up with a wild look in her eye pointing the sword in her hand at me. She was in shock not able to register who I was. She only saw me as a threat.

"Stay Back." She warned, "Stay away from him." I slowly continued to move towards her not wanting to cause her to panic hoping she would see I wasn't a threat.

"Stay back," She shrieked causing the other Guardians to stop but I kept slowly inching my way forward. In a soft soothing voice I said,

"Rose, Drop the sword."

"Get away from us." Rose said terror in her eyes

"Rose," I said again trying to get her to realize it was me. Seeing Rose like this filled my heart with sorrow. I was starting to wonder if Rose would ever be able to get over this.

"Rose, it's me, Dimitri," with that I saw the fog lift from her eyes slowly coming back to her senses, becoming aware of what was going on.

"It's Okay," I said, "Everything's going to be okay. You can let go of the sword."

"I can't. I can't leave him alone. I have to protect him." Rose said not wanting to accept that he was dead. Her hands started to shake as the adrenaline and shock started to fade from her body.

"You have," I said in a soft soothing tone.

Suddenly she broke, the sword fell from her hands landing with a loud clatter and she collapsed on all fours, the weight of the situation collapsing in on her like a ton of bricks. I went over to her putting my arms around her helping her off the floor. The other Guardians that were with me started to spread out making sure there were no other threats lurking around.

I looked down at Rose and smoothed her hair out of her face. Her face was almost unrecognizable increasing the grief I felt for her. She had no color to her face besides the splatter of blood smeared on her cheeks with a blank stare in her eyes. _Oh Roza, I'm so sorry. _Alberta standing behind me told me to get Rose out of there.

I started leading here to the door. So nobody could understand what I was saying, I whispered in here ear in Russian, "Rose, I never loved anybody as much as I love you and I will never leave you. Please be able to come thru this." As we were leaving, I heard one of the Guardians say in disbelief.

"She did that? Both of them? The sword hasn't been sharpened in years," filling me with pride that Rose actually learned something from our training. Beheading a Strigoi was the hardest way to kill them and required a lot of strength, to do it with a dull sword just made it that much harder. I took Rose back to the vehicle and helped her get in then I went back in the house helping the other Guardians wrap things up and take care of Mason's body.

When we got on the plane, I put Rose in one of the seats. She hadn't said a word since she had broken down at the house. She just stared out the window looking lost. I wished I could help ease the grief Rose was feeling but she was the only one who could do that. I just hoped she would be able to get pass the grief and not let it destroy her. I decided to go up front to listen to Christian, Mia, and Eddie tell Alberta the reason they went to the Strigoi house.

_Mia was the one who told what happened. She said that Mason had come to her after fighting with Rose upset and told Mia about the Strigoi being in Spokane, the same ones that had killed Mia's parents. Mia still saddened by their death convinced Mason and Eddie to go with her to get payback against the Strigoi. _She kept going_ saying that Rose and Christian caught up with them later in Spokane. While Rose and Christian were trying to convince the others to go back to the resort they were ambushed and taken hostage by the Strigoi. The Strigoi brought them to the house and tying them up in the basement. Then they starved Mia and Christian of blood wanting them to kill Rose, Eddie, and Mason knowing when Christian and Mia got hungry enough they wouldn't be able to stop themselves. Then Rose came up with a plan to use Christian's fire magic to free her hands by melting the plastic ties that bound them. While the Strigoi's human servants were the only ones watching them, Rose sprang into action catching the servants by surprised easily taking them down. They didn't run into the Strigoi until they were about to leave. Rose distracted the Strigoi allowing the others to escape. Mason went back in for Rose and ended up dying saving Rose's life. That's when Mia said something broke in Rose and she got the sword off the wall beheading both the Strigoi. _

After hearing what happened, I realized how lucky I was that Rose was still alive and I owed everything to Mason. If Mason wouldn't have gone back for Rose, it would have been Rose laying there dead on the floor instead of Mason. I felt bad that Mason was dead but I couldn't help feeling grateful that it was him and not My Roza. I also realized it was going to be really hard for Rose to get pass this. Knowing Rose the way I did, I knew she would blame herself for Mason's death. I just hoped after she grieved, she would be able to move pass it.


	3. The Decision

**The Decision**

When we got back to the Academy, Rose stayed in the clinic for a day due to the few physical injuries she had received. Even though I wanted to be there for her during this time, I stayed away too scared someone would figure out how I really felt for her. After she was released from the clinic, she had stayed in her room not wanting to come out. Hearing this devastated me especially since I was blaming myself for what happened to her. If I wouldn't have told her about the Strigoi, all this wouldn't have happened.

During the time all that was going on with Rose, I was facing my own struggle with the decision I had to make about being Tasha's Guardian. Taking Tasha's offer to be her Guardian was the right thing to do. After everything that happened with Rose and the Strigoi, I realized my feelings for her were too deep to stay here and pretend it wouldn't affect my duties. But it also wouldn't be fair to Tasha if I accepted her offer realizing I'd never be able to give here everything she wanted. I knew Tasha wanted more than me being her Guardian. She wanted us to be lovers, to start a family together and I just didn't think it would be right to be with her that way when I would always have feelings for Rose. When Tasha first made the offer, I was seriously thinking about taking it, thinking over time my feelings for Rose would fade since I wouldn't be around her every day. But now that I thought about it, I knew that wasn't true. Even though I wouldn't see Rose all the time, I would still see her due to the fact Tasha's nephew, Christian, was Lissa's boyfriend. And every time I would see her, those feelings would come roaring back.

Three days after returning to the Academy, Rose had her molnija ceremony for the two Strigoi she killed. She is one of the youngest Guardians to receive the tattoos which filled me with so much pride. I was proud of her but I knew this ceremony wouldn't bring any joy to Rose, Mason still fresh on her mind. That was the first time I'd seen Rose since being back at the Academy. When it came my turn to congratulate her on her tattoos, I just touched her on the shoulder and smiled at her not able to say the things that I really wanted to say to her. When I looked in her eyes, they were still filled with the grief she had for Mason which made me sad.

After the ceremony was over, I decided to go tell Tasha my decision about her offer. When I told her my answer, Tasha was hurt but I knew she would be. She had feelings for me and wanted to be with me but I just couldn't return that. I told her that it wouldn't feel right leaving the academy right now with Rose going thru a hard time due to Mason dying. And since I was her mentor she would be relying on people she trusted to help her thru this. Hopefully Tasha believed the reason I gave her and didn't figure out the real reason I turned her down, my feelings for Rose.

Right now I was waiting in the supply room in the gym to see if Rose was going to show up for our regular training session today. For some reason I had a feeling she would since she hadn't seen me in four days. If she did show up, I wasn't going to let her practice, thinking she still wasn't healed enough from her ordeal. But I wanted to see her plus I wanted to tell her my decision on Tasha and my feelings for her. I knew I shouldn't be admitting my feelings to Rose but after everything that happened I wanted Rose to know how I felt about her. Maybe if she knew how I felt next time she was in trouble she would know that she could come to me for help.

I was reading my western novel when I heard Rose walk in the door. I looked up and glanced at her. I could still see some grief in her eyes but her face said that she was actually here ready to workout. Easing the worry I had been feeling about her not getting pass her grief for Mason.

"I thought you might come by," I said marking my page in my book.

"It's time for practice."

"No, No practice today. You still need to recover." I said shaking my head no at her.

"I've got a clean bill of health. I'm good to go." Rose said. At least she is acting like the old Rose, trying to act strong like nothing was bothering her. But I knew better and saw right thru her words. I patted the chair beside me, telling her to take a seat. She hesitated a moment before finally sitting down. I pulled my chair directly in front of hers so we could talk about her Strigoi kills and other things.

"No one gets over their first kill….kills…. easily. Even with Strigoi…. Well, it's technically taking a life. That's hard to come to terms with. And after everything else you went through…" I paused not sure how to say what I wanted to tell her. Then without really thinking about it I reached out grabbing her hand instantly sending warm sensations thru my body like her touch always does, it also helped calm the nerves I was feeling.

"When I saw your face… when we found you in the house . . . you can't imagine how I felt?"

"How . . . how did you feel?" she asked hesitantly

"Devastated . . . grief-stricken. You were alive, but the way you looked . . . I didn't think you'd ever recover. And it tore me apart to think of that happening to you so young." I said squeezing her hand trying to convey all the feelings I had for her. "You will recover – I know that now, and I'm glad. But you aren't there. Not yet. Losing someone you care about is never easy." Rose wasn't in love with Mason but she did care about him. Mason was a good friend to Rose, someone she could trust and she knew that. Rose's eyes dropped to the floor as she sat there a moment trying to find the words to speak.

"It's my fault." Rose said with grief in her voice. This caught me a little off guard not expecting her to say that.

"Hmm?" I said

"Mason, getting killed." I knew she would blame herself for what happened. Rose and I were just alike in that regard always judging ourselves the hardest.

"Oh, Roza. No. You made some bad decisions . . . you should have told others when you knew he was gone . . . but you can't blame yourself. You didn't kill him." I said compassion filling my voice. Tears started to form in her eyes. I hated she was suffering and in pain. I wish I could relieve the pain she was feeling but there was nothing I could do, making me feel helpless. All I could do was to be here for her if she needed me.

"I might as well have." She said, "The whole reason he went there – it was my fault. We had a fight . . . and I told him about the Spokane thing, even though you asked me not to . . ." A tear started to run down her cheek which I wiped away with my finger.

"You can't blame yourself for that, "I said, "You can regret your decisions and wish you'd done things differently, but in the end, Mason made his decision too. That is what he chose to do. It was his decision in the end, no matter your original role." I knew exactly how she was feeling about telling Mason about Spokane because I felt the same way about telling Rose and I was blaming myself for the whole situation happening in the first place but I didn't let Rose know that.

"I wish I'd been able to . . . I don't know, do anything . . ." Rose said holding back tears that brimmed in her eyes. Suddenly she pulled her hand away from mine and stood up to leave. "I should go. Let me know when you want to start practice again. And thanks for . . . talking."

By the look on her face I could tell that she was scared she was going to break down again and being Rose she didn't want me to see her cry. As she turned to walk away, fear surged thru me from what I was about to say, not knowing what the consequences of me admitting my feelings to Rose might be. But I had to tell her.

"No." I abruptly blurted out. "No, I told Tasha no." Rose just looked at me with stunned disbelief on her face. We both just stood there staring into each other's eyes sending something warm and wonderful and powerful shooting between us.

"But . . . why? That was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You could have had a baby. And she . . . she was, you know into you . . ." A small smile came across my face finding it funny that Rose had a hard time talking about Tasha's feelings for me.

"Yes, she was, is. And that's why I had to say no. I couldn't return that . . . couldn't give her what she wanted. Not when . . ." I paused taking a few steps toward her bringing us just inches apart. My heart started to race from anxiety over how Rose was going to react to what I was about to say. I swallowed hard pushing the fear back down inside of me. _Oh well, here goes nothing . . . _"Not when my heart is somewhere else." I said looking deep into her eyes. As soon as the words left my lips, I instantly felt lighter. Hiding and keeping my feelings from Rose had been a burden on my soul weighing me down and something I struggled with every day. The more I tried to keep all my feelings in about Rose the harder it was to be around her.

"But you seemed so into her. And you kept going on about how young I acted." Rose said.

"You act young," I said, "because you are young. But you know things, Roza. Things people older than you don't even know. That day . . ." Seeing the recognition in her eyes of what day I was talking about, I went on, "You were right, about how I fight to stay in control. No one else has ever figured that out – and it scared me. You scare me." Rose scared me in so many ways. Her being able to figure me out when no one else could was just one thing. The others were the fact we couldn't be together and me picturing a life without Rose in it.

"Why? Don't you want anyone to know?"

"When a person can see into your soul, it forces you to be open. Vulnerable. It's much easier being with someone who's just more a casual friend." I said.

"Like Tasha."

"Tasha Ozaera is an amazing woman. She's beautiful and she's brave. But she doesn't –"

"She doesn't get you," Rose said finishing my statement. That reason right there, was the reason why Rose was different. No one had ever been able to read my thoughts better than Rose. Sometimes it felt like we were the same person, not even having to speak to each other, Rose knew what to do just by certain looks I would give her.

"I knew that. But I still wanted the relationship. I knew it would be easy and that she could take me away from you. I thought she could make me forget you."

"But she couldn't." Rose said finishing my sentence again.

"Yes. And, so . . . that's a problem." I said which it was. Knowing how deep my feelings were, the right thing to do would be to take Tasha's offer. Staying here around Rose, could end up getting somebody else hurt. But I can't help that now, I will just have to deal with the consequences if something like that ever happened.

"Because it's wrong for us to be together."

"Yes." _Very Wrong _I thought but I learned sometimes you don't have a choice when it comes to love.

"Because of the age difference." Rose said.

"Yes."

"But more importantly because we're going to be Lissa's guardians and need to focus on her – not each other." She said. That would be the real test for us when Lissa and Rose graduated from the Academy going out in the real world, leaving the Academy's protective wards behind. Right now I wasn't too sure if I would pass the test of choosing Lissa before Rose in a dangerous situation which scared me to death.

"Yes." I answered. Rose and I stood there for a moment, not saying anything. Rose looked like she was thinking of saying something but wasn't sure if she should say it or not then she looked me straight in my eyes, love pouring out of hers.

"Well," Rose said at last, "the way I see it, we aren't Lissa's guardians yet." Those words caused the conflict of what was right against what I wanted to battle inside me. She was inviting me to be with her, leaving the decision up to me. Even though she was right about us not being Lissa's Guardians yet, giving into our feelings now would only make it harder when we were Lissa's Guardians. I kept looking at her wondering which side would win. Finally I gave in, I was tired of denying myself what I wanted. I was tired of keeping my feelings in check making sure certain lines weren't crossed.

I reached out and cupped her face between my hands. I brought my mouth down and brushed it against her lips feeling the tenderness and warmth that radiated from them. My pulse started to quicken and the same desire I felt the night of the lust charm was there. Then I touched my lips to hers kissing her gently at first but soon it increased, becoming heady and deep. _I better stop now or I won't be able to and we can't go that far right now. _I pulled back from Rose, breaking the kiss. Not wanting it to end just yet, I placed one last kiss on her forehead, keeping my lips there for a moment enjoying the feeling of Rose in my arms. Oh how I wished we could stay like this forever and could share so much more with each other than this but right now wasn't the right time. I broke the embrace, running my fingers through her hair and down her cheek. _Rose, I love you so much. _Finally I stepped away from her while I still had the strength to and told her.

"I'll see you later, Roza." Bringing a smile to her face.

"At our next practice?" She asked, "We are starting those again, right? I mean you still have things to teach me." I looked over at her and smiled.

"Yes. Lots of things." I said _If only you knew, what I wanted to teach you. _I turned and walked out the door leaving my Roza in the storage room.


End file.
